Welcome
After losing 180 lbs.
Thank you for your interest in weight loss. In 2004 I paused when I stepped on a scale and saw 330 lbs. That was the wake-up call that I needed to begin my journey of successful weight loss and maintenance. After over half a century of unsuccessful attempts to control my weight I realized that I had to turn from looking for a “quick fix” to honestly facing the “elephant” in the room – me at over 330 lbs. It was this moment that propelled me forward to win the obesity battle and write a book about my journey. I hope you find my story encouraging and beneficial. Some of the lessons I have learned can be applied not only to weight loss and maintenance but to other challenges as well.
This website has been created to let people know that this problem can be solved and that I am here to share ideas with you and be a support as you continue on your journey. Some of the resources available are articles I have written as well as my book, My Journey of Real Life Weight Loss – How I lost over 180 lbs. (The book is offered at no cost, just shipping/handling. If you are interested please contact me. The Publisher is still working to get Paypal adjusted to accommodate this change.)
I stand with you and anyone you know who might benefit from my journey. Please feel free to contact me if you have questions or would like to chat further.
Remember: What feels like defeat can be preparation for success!
“Inner peace creates outer peace”
by Connie Pierce
I love getting ideas and have to thank FB for this one posted by a friend. It speaks to what I believe.
If we want any changes to our life be it our bodies, our homes, our jobs, our families, etc., we must start with our thinking. To have a good expression of all that we hold dear, we have to start with our thinking.
Self-worth and self-value are achieved through self-evaluation. And the evaluation isn’t about tearing yourself down to build yourself up. I think it is starting from the standpoint of love and appreciation for who you are right NOW. We have a tendency to start from the lowest instead of the highest. And we can find ourselves digging and digging looking for what is wrong instead of building on what is right.
I have learned that this work is continuous. We don’t do it once and think we are through. It really requires a daily even hourly commitment to stay on the right track with who we are. We need to put on our blinders and not look at what others are doing to judge ourselves. This is individual and regardless of who is around you, you are unique and need to be valued accordingly.
I learned this lesson once again last weekend. I was with some relatives I haven’t been around in recent years. It was humbling because of the success and personal achievements I witnessed. I left feeling like my life was a failure in many ways. Now intellectually I know this is wrong. But I couldn’t get my peace about this until I addressed my thinking. My world is my consciousness of it (this is how I believe); yet I certainly wasn’t living that last weekend. I felt horrible for thinking this way and then felt horrible for mistakes I had made. I was with my family to honor my aunt who had just passed. It really was a special time but when I left to return home the clouds of all this negative thinking tried to take over.
We went through rain and fog to get there and then hit severe wind storms coming home. It felt like the weather was a reflection of my thinking – a complete mess! So how did I pull myself up and out? First of all I had to honestly look at the situation from a factual basis and not emotionally. I realized that my emotions were completely unreliable. I had so wanted to say goodbye to my aunt but that didn’t come to pass and my sadness over her passing was coloring everything.
When things are upsetting to me I turn inward and start looking at myself in a negative way. At least I am recognizing it and moving more quickly to change my thinking. You see, we really are responsible for our thoughts. Can anyone else change my behavior? I don’t think so. So when I start thinking of myself as a victim (of me or others) that sends a shock wave through me jolting me back where I need to be mentally.
First of all I believe we all have a Creator and that Creator didn’t create me less than or more than…I believe we are all created equal but unique. It always goes back to treasuring our uniqueness.
So once again I sat down and started listing all my qualities and things I have achieved over the years. It helped me to acknowledge my gratitude to God first of all and then for my family, especially my aunt, and me. I thought about her example and what she would be saying to me if she knew what I was thinking and that helped. I recalled an article I wrote about one of her sayings, “I have one body and I want to own it” and did some mental editing to “I have one life and I choose to own it.” Stop looking at others and own what is yours. In other words, I needed to own – acknowledge and appreciate – my life and what I am doing that is good. Inner peace reigned again! And outwardly I found I was able to handle some other issues with more grace and assurance.
We are all valuable and our inner peace will help us achieve more outer peace. Try it! Let me know how you are doing.
We are all works in progress.
“Disease to Please”
by Connie Pierce
Oprah was on the Dr. Oz show and she talked about her life lessons and one was summed up as “disease to please!” I don’t know about you but that jumped out and smacked me square in the face.
I spent most of my life living under this spell. And it truly is a way of thinking that can paralyze you and keep you from doing what is truly right for you and for those around you.
I lived to please because I felt so inadequate and such a failure because I couldn’t seem to figure out how to lose weight and keep it off. There was a part of me that thought if I could please beyond expectations that would compensate for my failings. And you can end up doing and doing for others at the expense of yourself and what is best for you as I did.
It is a disease of always being dis-eased with yourself. Stop and consider what is driving you. You can change and I strongly recommend doing so. Make a list of what you are doing to get others’ approval and evaluate how you can change this behavior. Example from my experience: when it came to family activities, I spent the entire time working in the kitchen so everyone else could enjoy the activities. Now, my family was upset with me for not joining in and then when the day ended I was exhausted from single-handedly doing it all and resenting it! How ridiculous when I created the problem! It wasn’t fair to me or to the family. If everyone had pitched in as they wanted, we all would have had fun! I kept thinking that if I stayed in the background working, no one would focus on my weight and I would be seen in a good light. Just the opposite occurred.
Be honest! Really think about what you are doing and why. And be willing to change when you know in your heart that your motives may not be as altruistic as you think.
“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.” — Groucho Marx
by Connie Pierce
Someone shared this on FB today and I thank them for the great reminder!
We do have the power if we are willing to look within instead of outside. Another celebrity had a short video clip sharing her experience about a surgery gone bad (breast augmentation) which led to six more surgeries. She talked about the importance of looking within vs. trying to make the outer appearance better. She is a celebrity hairdresser and questions when someone comes in wanting to make radical changes to their appearance.
All of this points to the vital need to stop trying to reach for the “quick fix” for the exterior and spend more time loving who you are. Make a list of your qualities and good things that you are doing and focus on that. Don’t say there isn’t something to put on the list because I know there is. We really must get our priorities in order. If we are only after a cosmetic fix – that will never solve the problem of feeling discouraged, out of control, lacking discipline or will to address and fix obesity issues.
Looking within includes finding something to believe in that will support you. For me it is my belief in God. Whatever you believe, use it more! Having something to center yourself with, trust and turn to can be a force for achieving what you desire. This may take work, but victory will come. I have proved this over and over. Whenever the going gets tough…I turn to God more. There are times when the human experience doesn’t have the answers we need. Sometimes we really need to go deeper to discover that we have the means within us to solve our problems and the day will be a happy one as Groucho Marx said.
A spiritual thinker and healer, Mary Baker Eddy, makes a compelling statement, “You are a law unto yourself.” This is powerful and confirms the importance of realizing we do have the power to address and change our challenges into victories.
Have a happy day!
“I have anchor management issues”
by Connie Pierce
I saw this title on FB and decided to write about what it means to me. First of all the idea of an anchor can be good and bad.
I have always felt that God was my anchor of support and strength. It is knowing that I have something to keep me from drifting out to sea especially when it comes to how I live. I need the discipline of knowing that God is here to keep me on track!
Our challenges and problems can seem like an anchor that we are dragging around and make it difficult to find the joy in living. If we feel like we are losing the ability to manage our lives perhaps we are using the wrong kind of anchor!
What to do? First of all you need to stop and make a couple of lists. Label one “What’s right” and the other “What Needs Improving”. When you look at the good, be sure you aren’t under-valuing what you have listed. It doesn’t matter how small or how large the items are. What’s important is to acknowledge each one and love YOU for each one.
When you review the “Needs Improving” list pretend you are a third party and not personally tied to it. If you have children, you know how important it is to separate bad behavior from them. It is better to say that behavior isn’t acceptable than to say you are bad. So do the same for YOU.
This is particularly true when it comes to obesity issues. The tendency is to blame yourself for your weight and literally turn the weight into an anchor you are dragging around that has been welded to your body. Stop it! Yes we are responsibility for what we eat and how active we are but beating yourself up for this won’t solve the problem. We need to start building self-esteem by listing and acknowledging everything that is right about us. Weight doesn’t define us.
I believe that the spiritual is what defines me and that gives me the anchor of assurance that anything that isn’t right can’t be mastered.
Learn to recognize your anchors and choose accordingly. You will discover that you have more strength than you realize and that even obesity can be conquered.
Have you jumped yet?
by Connie Pierce
We are beginning the second week in January. Have you jumped into 2012 or do you still have one foot in 2011? The water is fine and the prospects are good, so I recommend jumping in and going full force ahead. Even forecasters are beginning to have a more positive commentary about 2012.
But I don’t believe in waiting for others to confirm that it is okay…follow your instincts and do what will help you progress. This year I enrolled my husband at the gym I use and included a trainer in the package! My dear husband is very motivated and active but does little for himself. Who knows what next year will bring! He probably will be on pins and needles wondering what I will come up with then!!
I am also including a swim class for me – something new and different. It is good to try new things. I am also reading different types of novels this year. Wherever your interests are…expand on what you are currently doing or at least mix it up some. Habitual activity can be boring and after a while I lose interest. I also find that it promotes rigidity. I have discovered since our recent move that both Ted (husband) and me are constantly in the “work on projects” mode and realized we aren’t having fun! There isn’t much balance and we both have a tendency to leave a project and 5 min. later return to it after saying we are going to stop! Observe yourself for a day and then evaluate what you might change.
It is true with weight loss and maintenance. If you look at this as solely a matter of discipline, control and deprivation…don’t be surprised if you hit a wall. Keep what you do fresh. Find a new recipe to try occasionally. Decide to walk a different route and/or exercise at a different time. And commit to loving who you are right now and loving every right thing you are doing!
Come on let’s jump in!!!!
Happy New Moments
by Connie Pierce
You might be hearing:
This is just another day!
2012? Not going to be different than 2011.
New year means new resolutions that I will probably break.
Love a new year…feels fresh and different.
However you are starting this year…the fact remains it is a new year! How it plays out depends on what we do with it. We really aren’t victims of other forces that try to sabotage our efforts to make it a good year. And we do this one moment at a time.
So maybe the question to ask is, “How am I using this moment in time?” Today I have been in my office starting new files for 2012 and gathering 2011 to begin income tax preparation. This is actually something I really like to do! Cleaning up files and running reports from Quicken feels good. It gives me an opportunity to look at where we have been, where we are right now and where we are headed by adjusting our game plan as needed.
Yesterday my husband and I went through some boxes that have been packed for years because of our many moves. Surprise, surprise…one particular box had been mismarked and I discovered some beautiful antique pieces from my family that I had forgotten. What a lovely find! And I was able to load my car with things we no longer need to give to charity. It was a great way to start fresh and provide my husband with much–needed garage storage space.
Whatever your interests, take time to pause and evaluate what you have and if you aren’t going to enjoy it, find another home for it. Don’t keep carting things around that remain packed and stored!
And when it comes to weight, this is a good principle to follow. Look at what your activity level is and increase it a little each week. If you aren’t walking at all, try walking to your mailbox or just getting up and walking around your home during TV commercials! Look at what you are eating and commit to change one thing and stick with that for a week or two and then add to it. Make changes you can keep. It doesn’t help to try and change everything at once. (Even with our move at Thanksgiving…I put things away and now I am revisiting and making changes that seem more obvious now that we have been in our home for a few weeks.)
When it comes to changes in lifestyle, start slowly and adjust as you go forward. As you begin to change habits you will find ways to support yourself that may not work today but will in a few weeks. What’s important: be willing to change; be flexible and love yourself each step of the way.
Happy New Moments to each of you! Share any ideas you have for how you are approaching 2012 and any challenges you may have. I love questions too!
Happy New Year
by Connie Pierce
I love to think “forward” and not look back too much! Yesterday is gone and it doesn’t serve my purpose to keep looking at it as I go forward. Yes, there are lessons to be learned but I also feel with each new day, year, decade, century, there are new approaches to be discovered. If we keep looking back at how we have always lived, we may miss out on new ventures.
This is true for weight issues. For years I was trapped in trying to lose according to the latest fad instead of trusting that I could succeed based on what I was discovering about myself. Sometimes the answers for which we search are right before us – actually within us. I work every day to know that I have the strength, control, desire, discipline and understanding to provide me with the best I can. This does go to the core of who I am and speaks to my belief in the spiritual nature of life.
A new year is a wonderful time to pause and rethink. Give yourself the space to evaluate where you are and what you would like to achieve over the next year. I had a great lesson in this in the late fall of 2010. Our daughter came to visit and we took part of an afternoon to brainstorm as a family looking at our short and long term goals. The 3 of us came up with some good strategies and my husband and I felt we had a good game plan for the coming year. Two months later (out of the blue!) an idea hit us. We acted upon it immediately and one of the goals was instantly met! It didn’t take a year! What was interesting about this was our willingness to lay out a disciplined plan and then be open to whatever ideas came as a result. We had no idea when we started this that there was an immediate answer. And the results of this led us a few months later to finding the home we just moved into.
Weight is an issue of mind! We must be willing to change how we think about ourselves and then how we live. Once I decided that I needed a paradigm shift in how I live and implemented it, the weight loss followed. But it had to start with a willingness to rethink what I was doing. Take time this weekend away from parties, etc., pause and evaluate where you are and list a few goals. I don’t think of this as a new year’s resolution! It is a commitment to moving forward in a way that will continue to support any goal you may have.
Whatever your issues, a willingness to address your thinking first and change what you can, is an approach that usually works. It has always been so for me.
Happy New Year!
Stop!
by Connie Pierce
Sometimes we just need to STOP and put on the breaks. Think more deeply about what we are doing! I’ve watched one family member who is challenged with some serious health issues literally stuff her face with things that can be potentially harmful to her health and then follow that with taking more medication to counteract the effects!
I understand that sweets are prevalent right now and my husband has been bringing home gift after gift of cookies, candy, cake, breads, etc. I keep bagging it to distribute elsewhere and in some instances it is tossed. I don’t do this to offend anyone, but I am not going to overindulge just because it is handy. There is nothing nutritional about most of what is being passed around. I appreciate everyone’s kindness in wanting to give us gifts but that doesn’t mean I have to eat it.
A neighbor has brought over goodies two times. I have reciprocated with a beautiful candle and Christmas towels. She seemed genuinely pleased. And in the end it is the thought that counts!
Take time and stop before you mindlessly dig in. Ask yourself if this is a good idea? Am I hungry? Is this going to satisfy my need for nutrition? Or am I going to feel guilty for stuffing myself when I wasn’t hungry to begin with!
I certainly don’t mean to throw cold water on those who love to bake for the holidays. I know that it is expensive and time-consuming. As I wrote recently, maybe it is time to re-evaluate what we are doing and change the focus from food to love of family and friends. Am I taking time to express gratitude to those I love (and not just by giving them a gift) but by giving more of me?
Someone shared an idea today that is most helpful: Do we get caught up in thinking I can’t have too much or there will never be enough? Really important questions. Sometimes we eat because we are afraid we won’t get our share or it just tastes so good I want to keep enjoying the taste. Or, if I don’t eat it now I will never get another chance. It goes back to overindulgence or deprivation – both of which mean we are desperate for something we think we are lacking.
Stop and consider some of these questions then evaluate and go forward with a plan! Just make sure your decisions are based on loving yourself (and others) enough that you want to make the best decisions possible.
May your holidays be the best ever!
What’s Important
by Connie Pierce
This is an important question especially at holiday time when so many things seem to crowd for #1 on our to-do lists. It is compounded by the restraints of time, money and resources.
If we operate from a “matter based” idea of living, we will always be limited and find that there isn’t enough of anything to make it all work. This is especially true if you are dealing with obesity issues.
My success came about because I had to look deep within and decide what was really important to me. Food had to take a different position as fuel for my body and not as the all-consuming focus used for an emotion reliever. I learned that cherishing myself, my family and friends should always be what is important.
Was this easy? NO. But it has brought about a life-change and consequently a body that functions and enables me to participate in activities, live normally and feel good. 3 weeks ago my husband and I moved. Yesterday we had a holiday Open House for about 65 people. Some were amazed at what we had accomplished in such a short amount of time. I was deeply grateful that I could do all that was required! Had I been 200 lbs. heavier, it wouldn’t have been possible and my dear husband would have had to do the work of 2 people.
My list of what’s important includes the following:
- Start each day with quiet time to reflect. I take time to affirm my good qualities. If we don’t love ourselves, who else will? Loving oneself isn’t dependent on being small vs. large. Stop looking to the scale to determine how good you are.
- Decide that food is a discipline and has an important purpose but it isn’t an emotion and doesn’t solve our problems.
- Bob Greene has said that exercise isn’t a choice. In other words, being active is a MUST. Even if you start by walking to your mailbox. Start.
- Be realistic. Don’t make goals that are too difficult. If I had started out with the goal to lose even 100 lbs. and run 5 miles – I would have given up within 24 hours! Make goals that stair step your progress.
- Be consistent! Don’t start and stop. Even if you decide to change only one thing – do that until it becomes natural and normal for you. It is important not to change many habits at once. That is a recipe for failure.
- Be honest! Don’t play mind games about obesity. Whether you have hereditary, history or other factors that may or may not be contributing, the bottom line is: we need to eat what our body needs and not keep stuffing ourselves. (I wrote a book about my journey of weight loss, but didn’t recall many of the contributing factors until I had lost the weight.) The simple fact is: if it doesn’t go in your mouth it won’t land on your hips!
- Think discipline and control about everything you do. Obesity is a state of mind that we can see manifested in over indulgent behaviors. Sometimes when we are struggling with weight issues we over compensate in other ways. Look to find a balance in all things.
- End each day by recapping all the good you have done!
What’s important? It may be different for each of us! Regardless: love and appreciate who you are each and every day.
