After losing 180 lbs.

Thank you for your interest in weight loss.  In 2004 I paused when I stepped on a scale and saw 330 lbs.  That was the wake-up call that I needed to begin my journey of successful weight loss and maintenance.  After over half a century of unsuccessful attempts to control my weight I realized that I had to turn from looking for a “quick fix” to honestly facing the “elephant” in the room – me at over 330 lbs.  It was this moment that propelled me forward to win the obesity battle and write a book about my journey.  I hope you find my story encouraging and beneficial.  Some of the lessons I have learned can be applied not only to weight loss and maintenance but to other challenges as well.

This website has been created to let people know that this problem can be solved and that I am here to share ideas with you and be a support as you continue on your journey.   Some of the resources available are articles I have written as well as my book, My Journey of Real Life Weight Loss – How I lost over 180 lbs.  (The book is offered at no cost, just shipping/handling.  If you are interested please contact me.  The Publisher is still working to get Paypal adjusted to accommodate this change.)

I stand with you and anyone you know who might benefit from my journey.  Please feel free to contact me if you have questions or would like to chat further.

Remember:  What feels like defeat can be preparation for success!

]]> http://reallifeweightloss.org/2012/05/22/welcome/feed/ 1 carolhohle Connie 2009-2 signature http://reallifeweightloss.org/2012/05/21/taking-stock/ http://reallifeweightloss.org/2012/05/21/taking-stock/#comments Mon, 21 May 2012 17:09:47 +0000 conniepierce http://reallifeweightloss.org/?p=1587 ]]> by Connie Pierce

 I started this website over 3 years ago and have written over 250 articles with the purpose to help people who are seeking solutions to a variety of problems including obesity.

My story is well documented.  As I continue I had hoped that others would join me and together we could encourage more to face obesity and learn that it can be conquered.  This hasn’t been the case.  When you look at the statistics… frankly just look around, we can see that obesity hasn’t lessened.

I often feel that people are still looking for the “quick fix” and seem unwilling to honestly look at how they are living.  The answer isn’t about a “fix,” it comes from a deep search for lasting answers.  I think it requires a paradigm shift that is radical.  I often hear that people don’t feel they can lose weight, yet they are eating uncontrollably and are not active.

It seems like excuses become legitimate reasons for not being able to lose weight.  And we could apply this to many of our problems.  Being classed as a senior is interesting.  The power of “age” is presented through all forms of media and accepted by most seniors as inevitable.  Age seems equal to slowing down, living with aches and pains, memory issues, rigidity, etc.  I find that I have to constantly be on alert to watch that I am not falling prey to this.

Recently, Wayne Dyer spoke about his new book, “Wishes fulfilled” and said in effect, “Do not let old enter your thinking.”  And I would add, “Do not let obesity enter your thinking” from the standpoint of being something incurable or unsolvable.  It all goes back to watching how we think.  I have always subscribed to the idea that our world is our concept of it.  There really isn’t “outside” to existence.  Think about your life and what you are including.  If you are caught in habits that you have had for a long time, perhaps you are letting “old” keep you from experiencing new ways of living and being.

So “taking stock” is an opportunity to pause and think more deeply about these issues.  Let’s work together to find lasting solutions.

I saw this quote on FB:

“Your desire to change must be greater

than your desire to stay the same.”

 I used to feel very mixed emotions about change.  In most instances, I found change difficult if not impossible to handle, especially if it required more of me or took me out of my comfort zone.

When it comes to the subject of weight loss and management, it can be particularly challenging.  I wanted to change my size for most of my life but couldn’t seem to “make it happen!”  When I look back, I am not sure I honestly desired the change enough to find a solution.  Oh I tried every diet and/or program offered.  I was on a constant search for an answer but never looking for it within myself.  Looking to others and products to solve this problem wasn’t sufficient.  “Your desire to change” is a mental requirement that only you can do.

I had to stop and honestly look within myself to gain the strength and discipline required.  Food is a necessity of life, but it needs to be put in the category of a need and not a want.  Food is constantly paraded but in an emotional way.  The “desire” for food can become obsessive.  Everywhere we look it seems food is involved.  And if we aren’t careful it absorbs much of what we do.  It’s almost like food is a power that we can’t overcome and hence we find it easier “to stay the same.”

In order for me to successfully lose weight and maintain weight loss, I had to understand food’s place in my life and learn that my strength and dominion come from my spiritual groundedness.  This is when it is important to dig deep and learn more of who we are and that we aren’t alone or without help.

Another on FB said, “Awaken your heart, open your mind and tune into your spirit.”  I think that is what we should be doing every day.  It is a wonderful way to approach life.  Whether you pray or meditate, or whatever you find helpful, take a moment to wake up, look up and tune in!  Change is good!  Embrace it and know that you are worthy!

Sounds easy but is probably the biggest challenge we have.  First of all it isn’t about blind acceptance of what isn’t good.  I think being yourself means an honest look at how you are living and acting and making sure you are being “true” to the real you.

Having spent most of my life serving others, making sure my family came first, sacrificing what I wanted so someone else could benefit and generally putting everything else before what I needed set me up for some difficult times.  In fact I am still figuring this out!

What I have learned.  Understanding who I am and cherishing that is one of my goals.  This requires soul-searching and honesty.  It also requires “tough love” with me so that I can say “no” as well as “yes”.

I started by making a list of my qualities and looking at this list every day.  I also made a working list of the activities I am involved in.  I make sure that what I say “yes” to supports me first not last.  I think the eye-opener is my realization that putting my needs first is okay!  There was a time when I felt this was a selfish way to think.  But I have come to understand that it really is key to being a better family member!  Years of putting me last was causing a huge buildup of resentment.

When my weight climbed to almost 350 lbs. the alarm clock went off.  The time had come to figure this out.  And the most important part of this process was and is remembering that I need to cherish me first.  Loving me includes the “tough Love” that keeps everything in balance and order.  Living life includes activity and exercise.  It is learning to put food in the category of discipline and not emotion.  Is this easy?  No.  But it is vital and necessary.  While we are in this human experience we need to be the best we can.

Be yourself.  An important part of this process is appreciation for the spiritual nature of life.  For me this is God.  I believe that I am a child of God and it is this understanding that gives me the strength I need to make every day the best.

However you think, whatever issues you have, be honest and love yourself first!  Prioritize you first and watch everything else fall into place.

 Wayne Dyer has said, “You are only a thought away from changing your life.”  Thought is powerful and can enable us to accomplish our dreams or not!  It really is up to us to decide that what we think can make a huge difference.

If you are a believer in Easter, Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection can help as we explore the power of thought.  Jesus certainly could have taken a less threatening career and would have avoided his premature death.   Yet he chose to follow God, heal people of all kinds of ailments and ultimately give us the gift of resurrection.  His life didn’t end with crucifixion.

How can this relate to us and how we think today?  Some days I have felt crucified with all kinds of problems.  When this happens I do have a choice of how I am going to respond.  In most cases I am “only a thought away” from changing struggles into victories.  Jesus didn’t start out having to face a cruel death to prove that life is eternal and neither do we.  He was first a carpenter and I am confident what he learned from that helped him as he entered into the healing ministry.

When I look back on my life some of the more menial jobs taught me the greatest lessons and helped me to learn and become more successful.  Same with the obesity issue that I had more over half a century.  It took “one thought” to turn that around and enable me to be successful.  But that one thought came after years of struggle and growth.  When I look back I realize that many of my experiences were important to my learning to understand myself better so that I could eventually conquer obesity.

Jesus grew with each experience and each healing.  And it was the combination of a lifetime of this growth along with that “one thought” that culminated in his final victory over death.  What was that “one thought”?  I think it was his ability to forgive while suffering on the cross.  Forgiveness is power and we need to forgive ourselves first of all!  Love lifts us and can help heal us.

This is a new day and new opportunity to explore that “one thought” that will change your life.

I loved coloring books that included pictures that you create by connecting the dots.  Once that was accomplished I could then color it.  Obviously this wouldn’t be fun for someone who is an artist and more creative.  I needed direction and an easy way to follow an outline.

I thought about this today and wondered why it seems difficult to connect the dots of life.  It can seem difficult and at times I just want someone to tell me which way to go and what to do!  Again, if you are independent, a self-starter you are probably gagging about now.  I am known as a strong, independent woman, yet inside there are moments when I would like the “easy” solution.

I look at my weight loss experience and I spent years and years looking for someone to connect the dots for me so I could lose weight easily.  It never happened.  And I probably put way more effort into looking for the quick fix than if I had just buckled down and honestly looked at changes I needed to make.

I have learned that each of us can connect the dots and find solutions but it may not be as easy as a picture in a coloring book!  You may need to create your own picture by pausing and really looking within for the strength and dominion that is required.  Honestly look at what you are doing and be willing to make the changes that will help you succeed.  And love yourself even if you go outside the lines!  Mistakes aren’t really mistakes.  They are deviations that can ultimately help you be more successful.

Yes, we can connect the dots but the picture is as individual as we each are.  Don’t look at what others are doing…keep the focus on the lovely, beautiful, successful you.

I saw this quote on FB and thought it was worth exploring:

 “Please do not feed the fears”

Fear can be tough!  It can cause me to feel paralyzed and unable to think with clarity.  It can be devastating especially if my fear is based on some condition that is life-threatening or debilitating.

Recently I have struggled with fear more than in the past.  It seems the older I get the less assured I feel.  Yet when I look back on my life I have been cared for and protected through every problem or challenge.  Never have I felt that I didn’t have what I needed to meet whatever I was facing.  So why fear now?

I think for many of us, it really is more of a suggestion than reality.  There are so many issues facing most of us today:  economic and financial hardships, unemployment, increase in sickness and disease, family disunity, etc.  And if we aren’t careful we become sponges absorbing all of these worries and fears. It is sort of like weeds vs. plants.  Are we feeding the weeds or plants?  Fear is like a weed.  It doesn’t take much to cause it to grow until it overtakes all the good that we do have.  Plants take more work and patience.

The weed of fear can greatly affect weight gain, loss and maintenance.  Whether you need to lose, gain or maintain, there is so much false information thrown at us daily about quick fixes, that we find ourselves fearful and discouraged because we may not be achieving our goals.

I spent years looking for quick fixes to my obesity.  I ended up feeling that success wasn’t possible.  Fear of failure had become a reality.  I felt I had failed completely.  Actually what I needed was to start feeding (nurturing) ME by acknowledging my qualities and good vs. feeding the weeds of public opinion about obesity.  It takes courage and commitment but I am convinced that we all have what is required.

Now that I am in the maintenance mode, I have to battle the fear of future failure that the weight could return.  And because public opinion says there is a good chance that will happen, it requires that I reduce fear by continuing to love and appreciate who I am regardless of weight.

Keep pulling out the weeds of fear, discouragement or despair and feed the plants of encouragement, love, care, discipline and honesty.  Be honest, face whatever would try to paralyze your thinking and know that you have the ability to conquer this.

As many of you know I am a deep believer in God and God is the power I turn to for the strength to conquer any fear that would try to separate me from what I know to be true.  However you believe, make sure you stay plugged into your source.  Take time each day to quiet all the outside influences and know that nothing can keep you from have success and conquering your fears.

• Currently obesity in the US costs $10,273,973 per hour.
• By 2030 obesity is predicted to cost $15,753,425 per hour.*
• Globally, obesity related illnesses count for as many deaths in young and middle aged adults as HIV/AIDS.**
• Diet related diseases are two of the top 5 causes of premature death globally**

We’ve talked about this on my website many times.  It is serious and should be a top priority for every family.

Food is a necessity of human existence.  It needs to be seen as a discipline and not an emotion.  Too many obese people use food for comfort, for loneliness, for security, for avoidance, for happiness, etc.

As someone who battled obesity for over 50 years, I understand the issues.  I only wish someone would have come forward when I was a child to stop the insane habits I developed.  It was expected that I would clean my plate (that had huge portions on it) and also partake of seconds.  The reward for good grades and behavior was hot fudge sundaes at the local ice cream parlor.  Food was the center and all-consuming activity in my household.

In an effort to lose weight, I tried every drastic thing that promised quick success – shots, pills, fasting, extreme diets, etc.  I would lose but then gain it back and more once I returned to the old habits.  No one talked about the need to change my thinking about food and put food in a category of need not want.

With childhood obesity climbing every hour, we need to establish plans that help children learn the value of everything they do including what they eat, the importance of activity and discipline.

What I have learned:

• Be honest.  Don’t blame others for what you aren’t doing.
• Be committed.  To achieve anything, you have to be determined.
• Make goals that are achievable.
• See food as fuel and not a drug.
• Love yourself right this moment.  Love isn’t about weight!  Scales measure weight not worth!  (another article I wrote)
• Love your family enough that you want to provide the best for you and them.
• Lean on what best supports you.  For me that is God.  Take time every day to meditate, pray or do whatever helps you to be quiet and evaluate what is important.

All challenges and/or problems can be solved.  But it takes each one of us to individually do the best we can.  I believe we aren’t honest if we aren’t doing all we can here and now to live with integrity.  If you find yourself stuffing your face with useless food to either say it doesn’t matter, food doesn’t have power or to be defiant, you aren’t being honest.  Discipline, order, control are freeing not restricting.

I bristle when people quote the Bible, “Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat…” and say that food has no power so I can eat whatever I want.  I look at that Bible verse as a wake-up call to realize that food is a discipline and shouldn’t absorb how I live.  It isn’t an excuse to eat nothing but desserts or junk food.  If we really are living with purpose and integrity, we would want to eat the best we can.  We do put gas in our cars!  We don’t put sand in them and expect them to function.  Same with our bodies.  We feed them, clean them, clothe them and move them.  But when food becomes something other than fuel, don’t be surprised if the body doesn’t respond well.

Join me in doing what is right for us and for our dear children.

Sometimes we can feel like we are drowning with problems – especially when it comes to finances and health.  The economic climate may be changing but for many this is still a dream and not reality.  We feel victimized.  And when it comes to our health once again we can feel like victims.  So we tend to look for solutions that someone is suggesting will solve these problems with little to no effort on our part.

I still hesitate when someone I respect suggests that I should invest on a “sure deal” to double my investments in a short period of time.  Likewise, I want to put on the brakes when I see ads for quick fixes when it comes to the obesity epidemic in this country.

Are we victims or victors?  Doesn’t it go back to how we think?  We do have a choice and I suggest we need to side with victory and dominion vs. struggling with the feeling that there isn’t a solution.

Finances.  When I feel like I “need” something but don’t feel I should buy it, I ask the question, “What do I have in my house?”  You would be surprised at the creative solutions my husband and I come up with that are better than what we might have purchased.  I do this, not from a standpoint of deprivation, but because it is important to pause and make sure we are using what we have in the best possible way.

I can give you a fun example:  My husband’s mother lives with us and loves to garden.  When we purchased this home we discovered an outdoor cabinet (that was at the back of our property) that would be perfect so she could store her pots and potting soil.  But we also needed to create a railing for her to hold unto once she was outside.  We talked about various solutions and shopped at Home Depot and Lowes…but nothing seemed quite right.  (We had elaborate ideas including making another walkway with railing to accommodate her walker.)  Next thing I know my husband calls me out to see his creative solution.  He found an old real estate sign post (in the shape of a “t”) that worked perfectly.  It fit in next to the cabinet and looked like it belonged there and gave her the support she needed as she walked from the nearby sliding door to the cabinet.  Cost – nothing!  Satisfaction – Off the charts!  We both loved the fact that we found an answer without having to go out and spend $.

Health.  One of the aspects of obesity is a need to rethink how we are living.  Instead of running out to take a new pill, try another diet plan or think about drastic surgery, perhaps what is really needed is taking stock of what you are currently doing.  It’s about honesty.  Health is really a mental issue.  When I finally stopped and accessed my situation with honesty and humility, I realized I needed to make changes in how I was living.  This included focusing on how to love myself more.  I realized that loving me meant I would do the best I could for me!  That included eating with wisdom, control and discipline and being more active.  It also meant that I was going to stop “hating” me for the obesity.  I was a good person and needed to make a list of my qualities and focus on those each and every day.  A scale measures weight not worth so I rededicated myself to understanding my worth.  (I wrote an article about this that is on my website).

We are victors!  I believe we have all that we need to solve our problems.  My approach is a spiritual one.  I see life as a spiritual adventure in learning who I am and why I am here.  I believe there is a higher dimension to life that supports us.  For me this equates to a belief in God.  Center yourself and be willing to explore new ideas that can strengthen you.  Prayer and meditation are a wonderful way to accomplish this.

Love to hear your ideas.

Sometimes we have good things all around us and yet there is something inside that is causing us to resist it.  It’s like being in a dark room and all you have to do is switch on the light, but don’t.

I have discovered that what we want can simply require a flip of the “switch” in how we think.  This is especially true when it comes to weight problems.  There are steps that can help jump start your progress but they require a willingness to change how you are thinking.

Try this:

• Take a few moments to be quiet and just breathe.  If a negative thought presents itself, exchange it for a positive one.  Make an effort only to think good thoughts.
• Do this several times a day as a way to stop and evaluate how you are thinking.
• Decide that you are going to stop destructive thinking about yourself.  List your qualities and focus on them.  Repeat that you are good and worthy; that you are beautiful and successful.

None of this is complicated but it does demand that we “switch” what we have done in the past for a new approach to what is ahead.  This doesn’t cost anything other than devoting time to do more for ourselves.   This isn’t being selfish…actually it is being selfless to the degree we realize this will not only benefit ourselves but all those who are around us.

A baby sits stands, crawls, walks and then runs.  We need to start at the beginning…first getting a better understanding of our value and worth; of seeing ourselves as blessed and not cursed with a problem that seems insurmountable.

If you want to resist – resist the temptation to do nothing!  Resist staying with old habits.  But don’t resist changing so you can experience new ideas and new experiences.  It’s like giving yourself a beautiful gift that keeps on giving!